♪ WE NEVER THOUGHT OF FINDING ♪
♪ A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG ♪
♪ DON'T HAVE TO STAND ALONE ♪
♪ WE'LL NEVER LET YOU FALL ♪
♪ DON'T NEED PERMISSION ♪
♪ TO DECIDE WHAT YOU BELIEVE ♪
YOU'RE GONNA LEARN SOMETHING ♪
♪ WHEN WE MEET YOU AFTER SCHOOL ♪
♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪
♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪
♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪
♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪
♪ YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE ♪
♪ WHEN YOUR BACK IS TO THE WALL ♪
♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU NEED US ♪
♪'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO CALL ♪
♪ WHEN IT LOOKS HOPELESS A DECISION'S WHAT YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU BETTER BE READY 'CAUSE YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME ♪
♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪
♪ 21 JUMP STREET! ♪
( shouting and cheering )
Girl: MOM, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A BREAK?
I MEAN, COME ON, I'VE GOT TO HEAR THIS EVERY 10 SECONDS,
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? YOU ONLY LISTEN FOR ONE,
COME ON, ANOREXIA, DINNER,
REAL FOOD, REMEMBER?
PROTEIN,,,
HOW PREHISTORIC,
PACK SOME FAT AROUND THE OLD HEART,
( rock music )
DO WE HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT?
SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER,
BUT SHE LISTENS TO YOU,
ONLY FOR A SECOND,
THE REST IS JUST WHITE NOISE,
HEY, DAD-O,
DID YOU KNOW SHERRY'S OLD MAN GOT BUSTED FOR DRUNK DRIVING?
HER MOM WENT NUTS,
I DON'T THINK THAT'S ANY OF OUR BUSINESS, NOREEN,
MR, BAUMLER IS A CLIENT OF YOUR FATHER'S,
I HOPE YOU DON'T CALL HIM "THE OLD MAN,"
WELL, HE IS AN OLD MAN,
OF COURSE,,, MARRIED TO AN OLD LADY,
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE SHERRY ANYMORE,
I DON'T,
BUT I THINK HER OLD MAN GETTING BUSTED IS PRETTY NEAT,
HE DIDN'T GET BUSTED,
CRIMINALS GET BUSTED,
MR, BAUMLER WAS ARRESTED,
THE GUY WAS HAMMERED OUT OF HIS MIND,
I SAW HIM A COUPLE WEEKS AGO
COMING OUT OF THAT DUMP ON ELMWOOD,
HE NEEDED A COMPASS
TO FIND HIS OWN HANDS,
SO TELL ME, HOW'S THE CLARINET COMING?
TERRIFIC, I'M TURNING BOREDOM INTO AN ART FORM,
NOW, KENNY, THAT'S THE SAME CLARINET
YOUR FATHER LEARNED TO PLAY WHEN HE WAS YOUR AGE,
MUST COME IN REAL HANDY
WHEN HE SERENADES SOME DOOFUS INTO A WHOLE LIFE POLICY,
WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT YOU DON'T RESPECT?
NOTHING,
I JUST THINK THE CLARINET STINKS,
SO DOES THE MEAT LOAF,
( screaming )
SHUT UP!
STAY QUIET, STAY ALIVE,
DIANE, PLEASE, DO WHAT HE SAYS,
WE'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST DON'T HURT ANYBODY,
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
ASK YOUR LITTLE NO-COLOR CHOIRBOY,
YOU OWE ME SIX GRAND,
KENNY, YOU KNOW THESE BOYS?
MOM, PLEASE!
LOOK, GUYS, I'LL GET IT,
I JUST NEED MORE TIME,
GET IT? GET WHAT? WHAT IS --
TIME'S UP,
THERE'S A JAG IN THE DRIVEWAY,
COME ON, GIVE UP THE KEYS,
GIVE HIM THE KEYS
OR WE TAKE LITTLE SISTER HERE TO THE PROM,
IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU FOLKS,
SORRY WE CAN'T STAY FOR DINNER,
JUST FORGET IT, WILL YOU, PLEASE?
I'M CALLING THE POLICE,
NO, DON'T!
THEY WERE GOING TO KILL US!
NO, DAMN IT, NO!
KENNY, PLEASE,
WHERE THE HELL'S THE END OF THIS THING?
I AM CALLING THE POLICE,
YOU CALL THEM AND THEY WILL KILL ME,
NEVER HAPPEN, KID, NEVER,
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE COPS AIN'T SOME KIND OF COWBOY
THAT RUN INTO THE MIDDLE OF A SHOOT-OUT
AND SLING LEAD,
POLICE WORK'S A SCIENCE NOW,
YOU GOT YOUR COMPUTERS, YOU GOT YOUR FORENSICS,
AND YOU GOT YOUR WIMPY PUBLIC DEFENDER
WHO WILL SPIT YOUR CASE OUT OF COURT UNLESS YOU ASK HIS CLIENT
WHAT KIND OF ROSARY HIS MOTHER USED TO PRAY FOR HIM ON,
YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW, BUT LISTEN,
LET'S SAY WE GET A CALL,,, A 415,
WE GOT SIX GUYS WITH KNIVES AND CHAINS
WHO ARE READY TO DO SOME DAMAGE SOME ON SOME COPS,,,
COPS WHO HAPPEN TO BE US,
WHAT THEN?
( belching )
WE LEAVE,
GET OUT!
OKAY, BUT WE CAN'T
BECAUSE THEY'VE GOT SOME LADY WITH THEM
AND SHE'S SCREAMING FOR HELP,
WE STILL LEAVE,
I DON'T,
YOU DO IF YOU'RE WITH ME, PANCHO,
I GOT SIX MONTHS LEFT IN THIS STAGE PLAY,
I'M NOT GOING UP IN SMOKE ON A 415
FOR SOME LITTLE OLD LADY SCREAMING FOR HELP,
MY OLD LADY SCREAMS FOR HELP,
BIG DEAL, I TAKE HER TO THE MOVIES,
IS THAT WHAT THEY TAUGHT YOU IN THE ACADEMY?
30 YEARS AGO, THERE WASN'T ANY ACADEMY, JUST THE STREETS,
YOU RODE IN THE BACKSEAT OF A BLACK AND WHITE
FOR A WEEK AND A HALF,
AND YOU GOT TO GO TO GRADE SCHOOL
ON A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER
OR TAKING STUFF THAT WASN'T THEIRS,
IT WAS SIMPLE THE, BUT LIKE I SAY,
POLICE WORK'S A SCIENCE NOW,
FROM WHAT I HEAR ABOUT YOU, THE ACADEMY MUST HAVE A NEW
"JOHN WAYNE GOES TO COP SCHOOL" COURSE,
THE LAST TWO GUYS YOU RODE WITH
BOTH ENDED UP IN THE CLINIC WITH BUSTED NOSES,
SEEMS YOU LIKE TO ROLL IN HOT
AND KICK TAILS,
I DON'T WANT TO KICK TAILS,
YEAH, YOU DO,
BECAUSE WITH THAT BABY FACE YOU GOT,
EVERYBODY'S BEEN KICKING YOURS
SINCE THE SEVENTH GRADE,
I KNEW YOUR DAD,
HE WAS A GOOD COP,
ONE THING FOR SURE--
HE WAS A HELL OF A LOT BIGGER THAN YOU ARE,
Dispatcher: One Zebra Six, Code One,
MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE MADE SUCH A GOOD TARGET,
YEAH,
ONE ZEBRA SIX, GO,
211 report at 729 Sycamore, corner of Herman,
ONE ZEBRA SIX ROLLING,
OVER,
WHAT ABOUT THE TRAY?
FORGET THE TRAY,
( groaning in pain )
THANK YOU!
( siren wailing )
YOU SAY YOU NEVER SAW THESE GUYS BEFORE?
NO, I'M IN INSURANCE,
AT THIS POINT
I HOPE THAT JAGUAR OF YOURS IS COVERED,
'CAUSE UNLESS I GET SOMETHING TO GO ON,
IT'S GONNA BE PRIMER GRAY AND SOLD IN PIECES
BY TOMORROW NOON,
HE WON'T TELL ME ANYTHING,
HE'S LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM,
LAST TIME HE DID THAT
WAS WHEN YOU WOULDN'T LET HIM GO TO THE EURYTHMICS CONCERT
BECAUSE HE GOT A "D" IN GYM,
WHAT A STAR MY BROTHER IS, HE CAN'T EVEN THROW A BASEBALL,
ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH
TO BE A COP?
YOU LOOK LIKE THAT KID IN PRETTY IN PINK,
YEAH, BUT WE DON'T LET HIM WEAR PINK ANYMORE,
ATTRACTS ATTENTION,
MISS?
HMM?
DO YOU THINK THERE MAY BE THE POSSIBILITY
OF YOUR OLDER BROTHER KENNETH
HAVING PREVIOUS KNOWLEDGE
OF THE SUSPECTED PERPETRATORS?
IN OTHER WORDS, PRINCESS,
DID HE KNOW THESE JERKS WHO RIPPED OFF YOUR DAD'S CAR?
THEY SAID THEY KNEW HIM, BUT I DOUBT IT,
THEY'RE PRETTY HARD GUYS,
KENNY'S IN THE SCHOOL BAND,
THANK, MILK IS MINE,
I'VE GOT AN ULCER BIG ENOUGH TO HAVE ITS OWN ZIP CODE,
ANYWAY, WE LET CLINT EASTWOOD HERE DRINK COFFEE
UP UNTIL 10:00,
DID YOU GET THROUGH TO HIM?
HE'S SCARED, BILL,
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST FINISHED DOMESTICS, PARTNER,
YOU'RE UP,
KID GRADUATED TOP IN HIS CLASS AT THE ACADEMY,
BUT PERSONALLY, BILL, IF KENNY WERE MY KID
I'D UNSCREW THE HINGES ON HIS DOOR AND BEAT IT OUT OF HIM,
PLEASE FORGIVE MY PARTNER,
HE WENT TO GRADE SCHOOL IN THE BACKSEAT OF A BLACK AND WHITE,
IS YOUR SON A GOOD STUDENT?
Kenny: EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO GYM, YEAH,
YOU FLUNK THAT, YOU DON'T GET TO GO SEE THE EURYTHMICS,
KENNY, THE POLICE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU,
YEAH, SURE,
KENNY, GET DOWN HERE!
GIVE ME A SECOND, ALL RIGHT?
HI,
YOU'RE PRETTY SCARED, HUH?
DID YOU KNOW THE GUYS THAT STOLE YOUR DAD'S CAR?
I WON'T TELL YOU SPIT,
IT'S NOT AGAINST THE LAW TO BE AFRAID,
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, ALL RIGHT?
OKAY,
BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY COME BACK?
GREAT WORK, DOCTOR,
YOU GOT DIDDLE IN THE SPLASH CAN,
HE WASN'T GOING TO TELL US A THING,
WHY WASTE TIME?
LOOK, WE TURN IT OVER TO JUVENILE
AND THEY'LL ENROLL KENNY AND HIS OLD MAN
INTO A TOUGH LOVE PROGRAM OR SOMETHING,
LIKE YOU'RE THE EXPERT, RIGHT?
HEY, PAL, DOMESTICS, GRADUATED TOP OF THE CLASS,
ANYWAY, THAT KID WAS TOO SCARED
TO TELL US ANYTHING BUT WHAT WASN'T TRUE,
THREE WEEKS IN THE FIELD
AND I'M RIDING WITH A CHILD COUNSELOR,
HERE, LET'S SEE WHAT THEY TAUGHT YOU
ABOUT DRIVING ONE OF THESE
AND WATCH THE POTHOLES,
I GOT HEMORRHOIDS, TOO,
YOU KNOW, CHARLIE,
MAYBE YOUR OLD LADY SHOULD HAVE YOU PUT TO SLEEP,
MY OLD LADY DOES PUT ME TO SLEEP, KIDDO,
THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE MARRIAGE WORK,
SHUT UP!
YOU DO EXACTLY WHAT I TELL YOU,
OPEN IT UP,
I SAID OPEN IT UP!
GET YOUR HANDS OUT IN FRONT OF YOU!
WHERE'S THE REST OF IT? IS THAT ALL THERE IS?
HUH? YEAH, RIGHT,
Charlie: OKAY, CHIEF,
WHAT DO YOU THINK IS STICKING IN THAT KID SIDEWAYS?
DRUGS,
YEAH, SEEMS TO BE,
FIGURE HE OWES HIS DEALER AND THE GUY CAME TO COLLECT,
AND I GOT A DIME
THAT SAYS HIS OLD MAN WON'T EVEN FILE A CHARGE,
MIGHT MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE ON THE FIRST TEE,
I MEAN, IT MIGHT BE DRUGS,
COULD BE ANYTHING,
BUT KENNY HARDLY LOOKED LIKE AN ADDICT,
WHO DID YOU EXPECT, LENNY BRUCE?
NOWADAYS YOU FIND MORE JUNKIES
IN PRO SPORTS THAN YOU DO IN A JAZZ CLUB,
MAKE A NOTE OF WHERE THAT KID GOES TO SCHOOL,
WE'LL TURN IT IN TO THE DESK,
OKEYDOKEY,
TURN AROUND,
WHY?
THERE'S A CAR BACK THERE I WANT TO GET A CLOSER LOOK AT,
AND TAKE IT NICE AND EASY,
BE COOL,
THEY DON'T KNOW NOTHING,
EVERYTHING OKAY?
YEAH,
YOU SURE?
YEAH,
POSITIVE?
YEAH, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
JUST WONDERED WHY YOU STOPPED FOR A GREEN LIGHT IS ALL,
OKAY, JOHN HENRY,
LIGHTS AND SIRENS,
All units in the vicinity, and One Zebra Six,,,
a 211 just occurred 126 North Kensington,
Suspects are armed and in a late model gray sedan
southbound on Roycroft,
ROGER THE CALL, COLONEL,
THIS IS ONE ZEBRA SIX TO CONTROL,
WE'RE IN PURSUIT OF AN EARLY-MODEL GRAY SEDAN,
VEHICLE IS A DODGE,
LICENSE PLATE NUMBER IS --
BREVITY IS THE KEY HERE, KID,
SERVED WANTS AND WARRANTS,
DODGE LOWRIDER, 2-REDWOOD-1-3-5, OVER,
HANSON, DON'T KILL ME,
JUST KEEP THEM IN SIGHT, AND REMEMBER MY CONDITION,
WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?!
YOU SAID WE'RE IN PURSUIT, I'M PURSUING,
GET OFF THIS ONE-WAY STREET,
YOU IDIOT, BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY,
( horn blaring )
FREEZE!
ALL RIGHT, DON'T MOVE,
DON'T EVEN BLINK,
HANSON, TAKE OUT YOUR GUN,
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS,
COME ON OUT NOW!
NO FAST MOVES, OR YOU'RE HISTORY,
ALL RIGHT, COME ON! COME ON!
PUT THAT PIECE ON THE HOOD,
TURN AROUND AND FALL ON THE CAR,
SPREAD YOUR LEGS,
ALL RIGHT, COVER THEM, HANSON,
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, I'M GOING TO FIND A PAY PHONE
AND CALL IN FOR A BACKUP,
YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE THE RADIO?
BECAUSE I PULLED IT OUT
TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO HANG ON TO,
SIX MONTHS TO GO TO RETIREMENT
AND I'M RIDING WITH EVEL KNIEVEL,
WHAT KIND OF MERIT BADGES
THEY BE GIVING TO BOY SCOUTS FOR THIS TYPE OF GIG NOW?
SHUT UP, PUNK,
A TOUGH GUY, YOU HAVE SOME I,D,, SON?
THIS IS ALL THE I,D, I NEED, THANK YOU!
YEAH, I GOT ONE LIKE THAT
FOR BEING THE BEST PLAYGROUND MONITOR AT SCHOOL 18,
DON'T MOVE, DIRTBALL,
IT'S JUST A SMOKE, HEIDI,
YOUR GRANDFATHER'S ALREADY GOT MY PIECE,
GIVE HIM A BREAK, THE KID'S NEW,
NEW ENOUGH TO BLOW ANOTHER HOLE IN YOUR HEAD, DON'T MOVE!
I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,
DUNNIGAN, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT BACKUP?
MAYBE HE DIED OF OLD AGE,
( gunshot )
OH, MY GOD,
MOVE IT!
ALL RIGHT, HANSON,
OKAY, I GOT HIM,
I GOT HIM, GET OFF,
GET OFF,
KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME, HUH?
I FEEL LIKE A CHILD MOLESTER,
OH!
( crunching noise )
NICE WORK, KID,
YOU'RE THREE FOR THREE,
ANOTHER BROKEN NOSE,
HEY, CRASH GORDON,
NICE WORK, PAL,
GONNA HAVE TO DEDUCT THAT BLACK AND WHITE
FROM YOUR NEXT PAYCHECK, THOUGH,
OH, HEY, I GOT A SINUS PROBLEM, DOC,
YOU THINK YOU CAN STRAIGHTEN IT OUT FOR ME?
FUNNY STUFF, MEADOWS,
COME ON, MIKE,
HEY, I'M TELLING YOU, THE KID'S A LIABILITY,
I GOT THIS 'CAUSE SOME PUNK ASKED HANSON
TO SHOW HIM HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE
BEFORE HE SIGNED FOR A SPEEDING TICKET,
DIDN'T THINK HANSON WAS OLD ENOUGH TO BE A COP,
DID HANSON THROW THE FIRST PUNCH?
NO, OFF COURSE NOT,
'CAUSE HE'S A GOOD COP,
SO HE GETS SENSITIVE
WHEN SOME JERK PUSHES HIM ABOUT HOW YOUNG HE LOOKS,
HE'LL GET OVER IT,
HEY, WHO CAN WAIT?
HE'S GOING THROUGH NOSES IN THIS DIVISION
LIKE A BEVERLY HILLS PLASTIC SURGEON,
YEAH, WELL, YOURS LOOKS BETTER, SUMMERS,
I'LL TELL THE KID TO SEND YOU A BILL,
COME ON, MIKE,
LET'S GIVE THE KID A BREAK,
HEY, SLUGGER,
SORRY ABOUT THE NOSE, CHARLIE,
WILL YOU FORGET IT?
I'M IRISH,
I GET WORSE THAN THIS EVERY SAINT PATTY'S DAY,
THEY FIND OUR UNIT?
MOST OF IT,
ANY SUSPECTS?
IT'S WORSE THAN THAT,
THE CAPTAIN WANTS TO SEE YOU,
WHAT A SURPRISE,
LISTEN, KID,,,
WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON, DO AS I DO,
MAKE A MARTINI,
THANKS,
Briody: YEAH, I KNOW,
WE ALL GOT TROUBLE LATELY, SCREW LATELY,
WHAT I GOT LATELY IS MOST OF YOUR TROUBLE
WHEN YOU BOYS DON'T DO THE JOB,
GET IT RIGHT, LENNY, OR I TAKE IT TO THE CHIEF,
GOOD MORNING, CAPTAIN,
THESE PRIMA DONNAS DOWN AT VICE,
ALL THEY WANT TO DO NOW IS WEAR PINK SPORT COATS
AND DRIVE FERRARIS,
HOW YOU DOING?
WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT, SIR?
WHEN IT COMES TO YOU,
LOUSY,
NO KIDDING,
LOOK, THERE IS REALLY NO OTHER WAY I CAN SAY THIS
SO I'M JUST GOING TO SAY IT,
I GOT TO MAKE SOME CHANGES,
I FIGURED YOU WERE PROBABLY GONNA SAY THAT, SIR,
I ONLY GOT ABOUT AN HOUR OF SLEEP,
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE FARMER'S REPORT
AND THE SUNRISE EXERCISE,
TV STINKS THAT EARLY, SIR,
DON'T TAKE IT SO HARD,
DURING THE KOREAN CONFLICT, I GOT TOSSED OUT OF THE NAVY
BECAUSE THEY FOUND OUT I WAS ONLY 16,
OUR SIDE STILL WON,
I'M 21, SIR,
I THOUGHT YOU WERE 22,
LOOK, WHEN ONE OF MY OFFICERS ROLLS IN HOT ON SOMETHING
HE'S GOT TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL THE SITUATION--
HIM AND HIS PARTNER,
THEY GOT TO BE ABLE TO SCARE THE GOD
OUT OF WHATEVER SCUMBALL IS MESSING UP,
NO OFFENSE, BUT SOMETIMES YOU'RE NOT SO MUCH SCARING THEM
AS YOU'RE MAKING THEM LAUGH,
DUNNIGAN TELL YOU THAT?
NOBODY HAD TO TELL ME,
LOOK, TOMMY, EVEN SUGAR RAY LEONARD
CAN'T CLIMB IN THE RING WITH MUHAMMAD ALI
UNTIL HE MAKES THE WEIGHT,
IT'S LIKE THAT,
I MEAN, YOU'RE GOOD,
BUT IF I KEEP PUTTING YOU OUT IN THE FIELD,
I'M PUTTING MY OTHER MEN IN DANGER,
SOMETHING GOES DOWN, WE DON'T KNOW
IF THE PERPS WILL GET GOOFY,
NO ONE WILL RIDE WITH YOU ANYMORE, TOM,
YOU MAKE 'EM NERVOUS,
YOU COME IN TOO PUMPED, TOO READY, MAYBE TOO ANGRY,
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE TOO YOUNG,
I'M NOT ANGRY,
NOT A LOT, ANYWAY,
OKAY, SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
I'M OUT?
TERRIFIC,
SIX MONTHS AT THE ACADEMY
AND NOW I CAN GO MANAGE A DOUGHNUT SHOP,
OR MAYBE WHEN MY FACE CLEARS,
I CAN BECOME ONE OF THOSE RENT-A-COPS
WHO CHECKS PROOF AT A TEEN CLUB,
MAYBE,
I GOT SOMETHING ELSE I THINK YOU'D BE GOOD FOR,
YOU WANT TO STICK IT OUT, YOU'LL BE A HELL OF A COP SOMEDAY,
JUST COME BACK IN TEN YEARS?
TEN YEARS YOU'LL BE TOO OLD FOR THIS KIND OF ASSIGNMENT,
SIT DOWN, LET ME LAY IT OUT FOR YOU,
WHAT AM I DOING?
I DON'T EVEN SMOKE,
DEPARTMENT'S GOT AN UNDERCOVER PROGRAM,
IT'S THE MAYOR'S BABY,
NOBODY ON THE FORCE KNOWS ABOUT THIS
EXCEPT SILVER SHIELDS AND UP,
IT'S CALLED "JUMP STREET CHAPEL,"
THE REASON IT'S CALLED THAT
IS BECAUSE THIS PARTICULAR UNDERCOVER UNIT
WORKS OUT OF AN OLD, ABANDONED CHAPEL
ON THE CORNER OF JUMP STREET AND SIXTH,
INTERESTED?
NOT YET,
EVERY YEAR THE DEPARTMENT
TAKES YOUNGER-LOOKING OFFICERS--
AT LEAST YOUNGER-LOOKING ONES WE THINK CAN HANDLE THE PRESSURE--
WE TEACH THEM HOW TO BE TEENAGERS AGAIN,
WE SEND THEM OUT TO VARIOUS HIGH SCHOOLS
WHERE WE CAN USE A GOOD MAN UNDERCOVER,
KIND OF LIKE "FAST TIMES AT BUST-YOUR-BUDDY HIGH?"
KIND OF,
YEAH,
NO, THANKS,
SEE, I HATED HIGH SCHOOL THE FIRST TIME,
YOU KNOW, SWIMMING IN GYM WITHOUT TRUNKS,
HEALTH FILMS,
NOT GETTING THE GIRL YOU WANT
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WEAR GROOVY ENOUGH SHOES,
AND I DON'T THINK I'D GET OFF CUFFING SOME KID
WHO THREW A SPITBALL AT HIS CHEMISTRY TEACHER,
I'VE HAD ELEVEN HOMICIDES IN HIGH SCHOOLS SINCE DECEMBER,
LOOK,,,
I WENT TO THE ACADEMY TO GO ON PATROL--
TO BE A POLICE OFFICER, LIKE MY,,,
TO ENFORCE THE LAW,
TOM, IT'S EITHER THIS
OR I ASSIGN YOU TO DESK AT PARKER CENTER
UNTIL YOU LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO BE A COP,
I AM A COP,
HEY, GENIUS, WHY DO YOU THINK
I'M MAKING THIS OFFER?
THINK IT OVER,
I USED TO RIDE WITH YOUR DAD,
I KNOW,
HE'D BE PROUD
OF WHAT YOU DID THAT NIGHT,
HEY, WE CATCH THOSE GUYS
THAT LIFTED YOUR BLACK AND WHITE
I'LL GIVE YOU THE COLLAR,
GIVE IT TO DUNNIGAN,
HE'S THE ONE WHO GOT HIS NOSE BROKEN,
GOT YOUR DAD'S SENSE OF HUMOR, TOO,
( saxophone rendition of "Strangers On The Shore")
♪ I AM READING OF THE LATE CALLS,,, ♪
OH, HI, THIS IS TOM HANSON SR,
NO ONE IS HERE RIGHT NOW,
Tom: HEY, DAD? I GOT IT, DON'T HANG UP, HELLO? HELLO?
Tom Sr,: HOWDY, SPORT, MOM HOME?
NO, HAD TO GO TO SCHOOL,
WHY?
I GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH SOME KID,
GEE, TOMMY, NOT AGAIN,
YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT, WE TALKED ABOUT IT,
EVEN WHEN HE SAYS MY OLD MAN'S A FASCIST AND ALL COPS ARE PIGS?
MOM'S REAL MAD, THOUGH, SHE SAYS I SHOULD GROW UP,
YOUR MOM'S RIGHT,
♪ NOW I'M LOST INSIDE THE WALLS THAT LIE EMPTY ♪
♪ I THINK I'LL STAY HERE FOR A WHILE AND HAVE SOME FUN ♪
♪ PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR ME ♪
♪ THERE'S MANY THINGS I'D LIKE TO BE ♪
♪ BUT I'M NOT A POPE ♪
♪ AND I'M NOT A KING ♪
♪ JUST SPECULATING ON OBTAINING SOME HIGHER THING ♪
♪ AND I'M NOT AFRAID ♪
♪ TO TAKE A CHANCE ♪
♪ IF I STUMBLE, PLEASE WILL YOU FILL ME WITH ROMANCE? ♪
♪ THERE ARE SOME WHO SAY I HAVEN'T A CHANCE ♪
♪ AND THAT I SHOULD SUBMIT MY FATE TO CIRCUMSTANCE ♪
♪ BUT THEY DO NOT SEE THE VISIONS THAT I SEE ♪
YO! EVERYBODY OUT THE BACK DOOR!
IT'S A BUST!
NOBODY TOLD YOU THIS PROM AIN'T A FORMAL,
DOUG PENHALL,
THIS IS JUMP STREET CHAPEL, RIGHT?
ONLY IF YOU'RE CATHOLIC,
IOKI HERE THINKS IT'S A BUDDHIST TEMPLE,
ME, I THINK IT'S A SYNAGOGUE,
YOU KNOW, MY MOM'S JEWISH,
WHICH ONLY MEANS I CELEBRATE BOTH GUILT AND HELL,
YEAH, YOU SEE, HIS FATHER WAS A PRIEST,
SO, DON'T PLAY BINGO
WITH THIS GUY,
HE'S A KILLER,
OH, MUST BE PUTTING YOU ON TO INFILTRATE THE STUDENT COUNCIL?
I DOUBT IT,
OFFICER TOM HANSON,
H,T, IOKI,
"H" FOR HARRY, "T" FOR TRUMAN,
GUESS WHAT YEAR HIS PARENTS MOVED TO THE STATES?
YEAH, I'M NAMED AFTER THE GUY
WHO DROPPED AN ATOM BOMB ON MY HOUSE,
YEAH, LOOK, I'M HERE TO SEE CAPTAIN RICHARD JENKO,
YO!
JENK!
YOU GOT TO TURBO-CHARGE YOUR HAIR
OR SOMETHING, HANSON,
YOU LOOK LIKE RICHIE CUNNINGHAM,
HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING, MAN?
HI,
I'M HERE TO SEE, UH,,,
CAPTAIN JENKO,
YEAH?
FAR OUT,
IS HE HERE?
YEAH,
Ioki: YO, AUTOGRAPH,
COULD YOU TELL HIM PATROLMAN HANSON IS HERE?
I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I'M LATE,
HEY, YOU AIN'T LATE,
YOU LIKE THAT SOUND?
NOT REALLY,
ME, NEITHER,
PRAISE GOD, HALLELUJAH, MAYBE I'M SANE!
BEEN A DEADHEAD SINCE WOODSTOCK,
I DIDN'T GO,
I WAS ONLY FIVE,
LOOK, I'VE REALLY GOT TO CHECK IN WITH CAPTAIN JENKO,
YEAH,
YEAH, WELL, WHERE CAN I FIND HIM?
YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM, HANSON,
I'M RIGHT HERE,
EXCEPT ON SATURDAY NIGHTS,
I PLAY LEAD GUITAR WITH SOME DUDES
IN MY GARAGE BAND,
YOU'RE CAPTAIN JENKO?
IT GETS BETTER, DOESN'T IT?
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY, HUH??
HE COULD SQUEEZE MORE MUSIC OUT OF A STRATOCASTER
THAN ERIC CLAPTON, JEFF BECK, AND ALVIN LEE PUT TOGETHER, MAN,
JIMI WAS THE BEST,
TOO BAD HE HAD TO THROW IT ALL AWAY
ON A SHORT RIDE GETTING HIGH,
I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH HIM,
WHO DID HE PLAY WITH?
GOD,
BREAKFAST?
NO, THANKS, I'LL GRAB AN OMELETTE LATER,
UNH-UNH, NO, YOU WON'T,
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A TEENAGER
HAVE A CUP OF BLACK COFFEE
AND AN OMELETTE FOR BREAKFAST?
FROM NOW ON IT'S POTATO CHIPS, SODA POP, FRENCH FRIES
AND PIZZA, MAN,
IT'S A PEPSI GENERATION, SPORT!
DON'T CALL ME "SPORT," OKAY?
I'M YOUR BOSS,
I'LL CALL YOU ANYTHING I WANT,
HAVE A SEAT, SPORT,
LOOK, HANSON,,,
WHILE YOU WERE OUT IN THE FIELD
GETTING YOUR BUT KICKED BY ALL THE BAD GROWN-UPS
ME AND MY GUYS HERE WERE TRAINING TO DO
SOME REAL BATTLE,
YOU SEE, THE WAY I LOOK AT IT, CHILD IS THE FATHER OF MAN,
I MEAN, THESE BAD GROWN-UPS ARE COMING FROM SOMEWHERE,
THEY DON'T JUST HATCH THAT WAY,
THAT'S WHY WE'RE TRYING TO YANK THEM OUT
WHILE THEY'RE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL, DIG?
"DIG"?
SPARE ME THE RAP ABOUT HOW I TALK, OKAY?
YEAH, I KNOW, YOU WENT TO WOODSTOCK, RIGHT?
RIGHT ON, BROTHER,
WE'RE ABOUT FOUR WEEKS AHEAD OF YOU HERE, HANSON,
SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO RUSH YOU THROUGH SOME OF THE TRAINING,
WHAT KIND OF TRAINING?
HOFFS,
GOING TO TEACH YOU HOW TO BE A TEENAGER AGAIN, SPORT,
HOW DOES THAT GRAB YOU?
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BAD KIND,
THE KIND THAT GETS INTO TROUBLE,
THE KIND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE LIKE
SO THEY THINK YOU'RE ONE OF 'EM, DIG?
HEY, HOFFS, WAKE UP,
RELAX, RELAX, I'M UP,
HOFFS, HANSON,
HANSON, HOFFS,
HI,
JUDE, RUN THIS CAT DOWN TO WARDROBE
AND SEE IF YOU CAN TAKE SOME OF THE COP
OUT OF HIS PRESENTATION,
AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, DO SOMETHING ABOUT
THE JACK KENNEDY HAIRCUT, TOO, WILL YOU?
GO WITH WHAT OFFICER HOFFS TELLS YOU, HANSON,
IT'S BEEN REAL, BRO,
STICK WITH HOFFS HERE
AND SHE'LL HOOK US UP A LITTLE FIELD TRAINING TONIGHT,
LATER,
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
SO JENK'S A LITTLE BIT OF A HANG-ON HIPPIE,
BIG DEAL,
WHEN IT COMES
TO GOING UNDERCOVER
THE DUDE IS THE BEST,
I'M JUDY HOFFS,
THAT'S OKAY, HONEY,
MY PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE,
OH,
CHIP?
♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT OPINIONS ABOUT THE WAY I SHOULD BE ♪
♪ AND ADVICE JUST HANDED OUT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW THEY GET TO ME ♪
♪ AS IF THEY KNEW ALL THE ANSWERS OVER BEING ME ♪
♪ AS IF THEY HAD WROTE THE BOOK ON MY PSYCHOLOGY ♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD BE ♪
♪ I'M JUST TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE ♪
♪ BUT IT'S NOT EASY BEING ME ♪
♪ WHY CAN'T THEY LIVE THEIR WAY, AND I'LL LIVE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T HURT YOUR BROTHER'S FEELINGS ♪
♪ AND WE'LL BOTH BE FINE ♪
♪ NOW, I DON'T WANNA TELL YOU RIGHT FROM WRONG ♪
♪ I'M JUST TRYING TO GET MY POINT ACROSS ♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD BE ♪
♪ I'M JUST TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE ♪
♪ BUT IT'S NOT EASY BEING ME ♪
♪ WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LET ME BE? ♪
♪ I'M JUST TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE ♪
♪ SO DON'T TRY AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK MY LIFE NEEDS ♪
♪ AND IF YOU'VE GOT OPINIONS, KEEP THEM UP YOUR SLEEVE ♪
♪ THAT'S WHAT THE SCHOOL OF LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME ♪
♪ YOU JUST MIGHT AGREE ♪
♪ WHEN IT COMES TO LIVING OUR LIVES, WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN WAY ♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD BE ♪
♪ I'M JUST TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S NOT EASY BEING ME ♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ BABY, BABY ♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD BE ♪
IT'S SHOW TIME, FOLKS,
WHOA!
BIG DEAL NOW!
OKAY, OKAY, WHO'S THE CLOWN?
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
ROCK STAR OR SOMETHING, HUH?
COME ON, PUNK, COME ON, ARE YOU THE WISE GUY?
YO, JACE, WHAT WE GOT HERE, SOME KIND OF KILLER HIPPIE,
PEACE, LOVE, PAL,
WHAT TRIBE ARE YOU FROM?
EXTRATERRESTRIAL, MAN
LIKE PLUTO,
YOU THREW THAT BOTTLE AT MY VAN, DIDN'T YOU?
WHAT IF HE DID?
A WHOLE CROWD OF US, THERE'S ONLY ONE OF YOU LONG HAIRS,
YEAH, WELL, YOU GOT A POINT THERE,
HEY, BETTER EASE UP ON THE DUDE,
LOOK LIKE HE'S GOT A LOT OF FLOWER POWER,
I HATE FLOWERS,
COME ON, LET'S DANCE,
THANKS, BUT YOU MIGHT STEP ON MY TOES,
OH, NONVIOLENCE, MAN,
CHIEF-DON'T-HIT-ME- IN-THE-FACE,
HEY, EASE UP,
EASE UP,
I'LL BUY YOU A BEER,
Jenko: OKAY, HANSON, THAT'S YOUR GUY,
IF THAT'S THE GUY, WHY DON'T WE JUST TAKE HIM IN RIGHT NOW?
BECAUSE ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE SURE
PENHALL WAS COOL AND I,D, THE CREEP,
GOING TO HAVE PLENTY OF CHANCES TO BUST HIM,
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
YEAH,
YEAH?
WHAT MIGHT THAT BE, SPORT?
I'M GONNA MAKE A BUY, NO BIG DEAL,
THIS ISN'T MY FIRST ASSIGNMENT, YOU KNOW,
I WAS ON PATROL,
OOH, PATROL,,,
GOT TO EAT A LOT OF DOUGHNUTS, RIGHT?
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME, HANSON,
I THINK IT WOULD BE HARD FOR YOU TO BUY A CASE OF BEER,
YOU OUGHT TO TALK, IOKI,
FIRST TIME OUT
HE BOUGHT A GRAM OF BABY LAXATIVE
FOR A HUNDRED BUCKS,
Jenko: OKAY, COOL IT,
HERE'S WHAT'S GOING DOWN, HANSON,
YOU'RE PENHALL'S CUZ,
YOU'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK A FEW TIMES,
DON'T COME ON LIKE DICK CLARK
OR THESE CATS WILL MAKE YOU
FASTER THAN GALE SAYERS
USED TO RUN FOR THE CHICAGO BEARS, YOU DIG?
DON'T WORRY,
WE GOT YOU BACKED UP,
JUST REMEMBER, NO BUST,
THE ONLY REASON WE'RE DOING THIS
IS SO YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE SOME GEEK
THE FIRST TIME YOU TRY TO MAKE A BUY FOR REAL,
COMPRENDE?
OKAY,
I MEAN IT, HANSON-- NO BUST,
YO, CUZ,
HEY, MY COUSIN'S HERE,
TOMMY, THIS IS JACE,
THE GUY YOU WAS TELLING ME ABOUT?
COME ON,
YOUR CUZ SAYS YOU'RE COOL,
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
A LID?
"A LID"?
WHERE YOU FROM, MAN?
OMAHA?
BUFFALO,
FREAKING PLACE MUST BE STUCK IN A TIME WARP,
IT'S $200 AN OUNCE,
YOU GIVE ME THE MONEY,
I WANT TO SEE IT FIRST,
NO, YOU DON'T LOOK AT IT,
FOR $200, I WANT TO SEE IT FIRST,
OKAY?
LET ME SMELL IT, TOO,
MAN, YOU MUST BE FROM OMAHA,
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
NO, THE THING IS, WHAT'S YOURS?
I THINK YOU'RE A COP,
I DON'T NEED THIS, SCUMBAG,
I CAN GET MY DRUGS FROM ANYBODY,
I STILL THINK YOU'RE A COP,
THEN PULL THE TRIGGER,
NO, YOU AIN'T A COP,
COPS HAVE TO BE OLD ENOUGH
TO DRIVE AFTER DARK,
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN
HOW TO TRUST THOSE INSTINCTS, JACE,
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST,
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT,
ANYTHING YOU SAY
CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU
IN A COURT OF LAW,
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY,
IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD AN ATTORNEY,,,
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, HANSON?
MAKING AN ARREST!
SUSPECT THREATENED TO KILL ME,,,
BUT NOT UNTIL I MADE THE PURCHASE,
OPEN AND SHUT,
HE SOLICITED SALE AND WE MADE THE EXCHANGE,
DIDN'T WE, JACE?
DIDN'T WE, JACE?!
HEY, SAVE IT, SAVE IT, MAN,
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO CHARGE HIM WITH?
ILLEGAL SALE OF A PAIR OF SMELLY SOCKS?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THIS?
PANAMA BROWN?
WHY DON'T YOU SAVE THEM, PAL?
I LIKE TO WEAR THE ONES WITH TURTLES ON THE ANKLE POCKETS,
HE WAS BURNING YOU, PAL,
HUH?
GOOD WORK,
GOOD WORK, HANSON,
GOOD WORK, MAN, GOOD LICKS,
YOU JUST USED UP A PUNK
WE'VE BEEN WATCHING FOR SIX MONTHS
ON AN A,D,W,,
WHICH WILL BE KNOCKED DOWN TO "BRANDISHING" BY NOON TOMORROW,
EVEN A BOOT LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT,
TAKE HIM IN, ARTIE,
CAPTAIN JENKO, I'M SORRY,
HEY, MAN, SAVE IT, AND PLEASE DON'T CALL ME "CAPTAIN,"
LOOK, I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB HERE,
TRYING TO WHAT? TRYING TO COWBOY THE DEAL IS WHAT!
MAKE A BIG COLLAR, BE A REAL COP,
AND WITH YOU BEING A REAL COP,
I GOT TO PULL PENHALL OUT
BECAUSE EVERY PUNK THAT'S BEEN HANGING WITH JACE
WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE HIM EASIER THAN ELTON JOHN
IN A HAT SHOP,
COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, MAN,
LIKE SPLITSVILLE,
GOOD LICKS!
GOOD LICKS, HANSON,
( burglar alarm ringing )
( engine sputtering )
OKAY, TRY THAT NOW,
( engine sputtering )
NOTHING,
THAT'S A NICE CAR YOU GOT THERE, DOUG,
IT'S NOT MINE,
IT'S HOFFS',
REALLY?
Penhall: YEP, TRY IT AGAIN,
( engine sputtering )
THIS IS YOUR CAR?
WHAT'S LEFT OF IT, YEAH,
REALLY?
YEAH, REALLY,
SEE, THEY WERE JUST ALL OUT OF THOSE PURPLE CADDYS,
YOU KNOW, WITH THE MUD FLAPS AND THE FUR AROUND THE MIRRORS,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
MUST RAISE HELL WITH YOUR IMAGE,
TRY IT AGAIN,
( engine starts )
FLOAT WAS STUCK IN THE CARB,
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Jenko: OKAY, LET'S RUN THIS DOWN,
HOFFS, WHAT'S WITH GETTING AN "A+" ON YOUR BOOK REPORT
FOR "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
EVERYTHING'S PRETTY STEADY OVER AT BENNETT HIGH,
I HAD TIME,
MIGHT EVEN MAKE HONOR ROLL,
GROOVY,
YOU KNOW, IT'S VERY UNUSUAL FOR HONOR ROLL STUDENTS
TO HANG OUT WITH FELONS,
WATCH YOUR PROFILE, PEACHES,
PENHALL, WHAT'S SHAKING WITH YOU, BUD?
I FIGURED WITH JACE OUT OF THE MIX
AND MY COVER BLOWN
I COULD PLAY GOLF FOR THE REST OF THE SEMESTER,
YEAH, WELL, FIGURE AGAIN,
BOB HOPE PLAYS GOLF,
BUT DON'T SWEAT IT, BUD,
I'M SURE WE'LL FIND A PLACE FOR YOU,
IOKI, WHAT'S HAPPENING
ON THE HILL?
WELL, I GOT MY DUDES SET UP AT CLEVELAND HIGH
FOR SOME QUANTITY,
BUT I'M STILL WAITING FOR CLEARANCE ON THAT SIX GRAND
FROM PARKER CENTER,
HANSON, YOU'RE GOING TO LET YOU GET YOUR FEET WET
AT AMHERST HIGH -- PUT YOU IN THERE FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS,
HANSON, YOU'RE A DISCIPLINARY TRANSFER FROM WILCOX
WITH A SUSPECTED DRUG PROBLEM AND A VERY BAD ATTITUDE, DIG?
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW IS IN THIS DEAL,
READ IT CAREFULLY, HANSON,
AND PLEASE, DO ME A FAVOR?
TRY NOT TO BLOW YOUR COVER ON THE FIRST DAY,
OKEY-DOKEY,
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HEAVY GOING ON AT AMHERST,,,
THAT WE KNOW OF,
SO JUST, YOU KNOW, KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN, STAY OUT OF TROUBLE,
AND REMEMBER, YOU'RE STILL IN TRAINING,
LET'S GO DO IT! [ HOWLS ]
GLAD HE'S ON OUR SIDE,
♪ PUT MY FEET ON THE FLOOR, I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE ♪
♪ IT'S 6:00 A,M,, I THINK I'M INSANE ♪
♪ IT'S LIKE A JUNGLE OUT THERE, I CAN'T HIDE NOWHERE ♪
♪ JUST NEED SOME SPACE TO DO MY THING ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO RUN TO ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO HIDE ♪
♪ MM-HMM ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO RUN TO ♪
♪ GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO HIDE ♪
♪ UH-HUH ♪
SORRY, BOY, BUT YOU CAN'T PARK THERE,
OH, YEAH? I'M NEW, I DIDN'T KNOW,
YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WANT TO GET OLD, YOU KNOW NOW,
SO MOVE THAT RAGGEDY PIECE OF TIN,
I DON'T WANT IT STINKING UP MY SPOT,
YO!
YOU DON'T WANT TO PARK IT THERE,
MIGHT GET HURT,
ME OR THE CAR?
YOU HEARD THE MAN,
MOVE IT!
NO, THANKS, MAN,
I'M TRYING TO QUIT,
( crowd exclaiming )
( crowd cheering )
MOVE IT!
( crowd shouting )
YOU'RE DEAD, BOY,
( crowd cheering and shouting)
BREAK IT UP!
ALL RIGHT, WHO STARTED IT?
STARTED WHAT?
THE GUY'S A FRIEND,
THAT RIGHT, TYRELL?
( crowd laughing )
WHO ARE YOU?
MY NAME'S TOM BAUER, I'M NEW HERE,
MAKE A HELL OF A FIRST IMPRESSION,
COME ON, WHO STARTED IT?
BOTH OF YOU, JAKE SHAFFER'S OFFICE,
MOVE IT!
PARK THE RIDE,
Shaffer: JUST MINUTES INTO THE FIRST QUARTER ON A MONDAY MORNING
I ALREADY GOT TWO PLAYERS OUT OF BOUNDS,
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO THROW THE FLAG ON YOU, TYRELL,
TWO WEEKS DETENTION
AND I GOT TO SEND A REPORT TO YOUR PROBATION OFFICER, TOO,
HE'S NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT,
MIGHT EVEN MAKE YOU PARK THAT FERRARI OUT IN THE BULLPEN,
YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, BOY,
NOW YOU GET OUT OF HERE,
THIS IS NOT A REAL IMPRESSIVE COMPLETION RECORD, BAUER,
SEEMS LIKE AT WILCOX HIGH YOU THREW A LOT OF INTERCEPTIONS,
A REAL TOUGH GUY, HUH?
NOT TO MENTION--
A COUPLE NOTES HERE ABOUT A WHIFF PROBLEM,
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
GETTING UP FOR THE GAME WAS A SPIRITUAL THING,
I DON'T PLAY A LOT OF SPORTS,
WE GOT A "TOUGH LOVE" PROGRAM HERE AT AMHERST,
I EXPECT YOU AND YOUR OLD MAN
TO MAKE IT TOMORROW NIGHT,
OR I'LL THROW YOU OUT OF THE LEAGUE,
WELL, THANK YOU, SIR,
BUT MY FATHER WORKS NIGHTS AND CAN'T MAKE IT,
MAKE HIM MAKE IT,
Kenny: COME ON, WAXER,
LEAVE ME ALONE, MAN,
YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT HERE AT AMHERST, BOY,
YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT A LOT, IF YOU LIKE DYING,